Crap-Ass Things I Did While Drinking

in order from minorly heinous to outright scary:

* drunk dial and totally forgot our conversation (sorry Sooz, Meem, Kate, Mom, Dave and many many others)

* cancel appointments 'cause i'd rather sit on my ass and drink, or because I HAD been drinking and wanted to cover it up.

* spent money I had no business spending.

* thought I was OK because I was a so-called "high-functioning" alchoholic.

* woke up with someone....who???

Ok, enough with the minorly heinous - let's get to the nasty stuff:

* Got behind the wheel of my car.

* Got behind the wheel of my car. WITH MY DAUGHTER.

* Got behind the wheel of my car, WHILE CUTTING MYSELF WITH A PIECE OF BROKEN GLASS.

* Had more than one "emotional affairs" online, totally disrespecting my husband and myself.

* Brought booze to a job I adored - lost the job, and lost the trust of many friends.

* Jepoardized my handicapped child's medical equipment, by accidentally leaving it out in the rain cause I was lit.

* Broke my ankle missing a stair.

* Screwed my pancreas up.



I'm sure there's more. This is an off-the-hip list - designed to slap me in the face when I read it. ;)

Thank you God.

illusions of the drinking homemaker

People in meeting talk about their love affair with alcohol, some still say there was never any fun. I doubt I would have any illusion if it weren't for some moments where I really felt I was on top of the world:

Productive day at work, home in time to see child off the bus. After a glass of wine, now fully confident to deal with daughter and her many needs. (I orginially wrote "headstrong" daughter here, but thought better of passing blame - Thank you God)

Homework. Check!
Parental Paperwork viewed. Check!
Chores being supervised. Check!

Oh happy home! Oh happy Mommy as she slips another glass of wine!

Dinner ready to be prepared...but no Daddy. Anxiety sets in as I cannot get him on the phone (again about to toss blame onto the dear man who works his tail off to support us.)

Another excuse to open another bottle...toss off the emotions.

Daddy gets home - JOY! Dinner is ready, child is happy and taken care of, ALL IS WELL. We sit together on the couch and talk, discuss wonderful things, educate our child on wonderful things, and discuss the world. We explore her mind, and laugh together as a true family unit. I am in HEAVEN - this is a dream come true! I feel CONFIDENT, and INVINCIBLE!!!

Many Thanks...only to the wine...realizing this only when the sober sets in...

Awakening - the stuff I'm able to hear today

Put yourself first.
Let Go.
Acceptance & tolerance.
Celebrate the tiny achievements.
Meetings, meetings, meetings
JUST DON'T DRINK.
Everyone loves you and desperately wants you to recover.


If all you do today is get through the day without a drink - PERFECT!